Arrogant Thug

A Screenplay       by Alex Vega

INT. SHYAMBAZAR – AFTERNOON

Intuitive Lawyer ABHISEK KUMAR GHOSH is arguing with friendly Teaher NEHA PARI AGARWAL. KUMAR tries to hug PARI but she shakes him off.

KUMAR

Please Pari, don’t leave me.

PARI

I’m sorry Kumar, but I’m looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.

KUMAR

I am such a person!

PARI frowns.

PARI

I’m sorry, Kumar. I just don’t feel excited by this relationship anymore.

PARI leaves.

KUMAR sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, sweet POLITICIAN DHARAM VEER SAXENA barges in looking flustered.

KUMAR

Goodness, Veer! Is everything okay?

VEER

I’m afraid not.

KUMAR

What is it? Don’t keep me in suspense…

VEER

It’s … a thug … I saw an evil thug evetease a bunch of women!

KUMAR

Defenseless women?

VEER

Yes, defenseless women!

KUMAR

Bloomin’ heck, Veer! We’ve got to do something.

VEER

I agree, but I wouldn’t know where to start.

KUMAR

You can start by telling me where this happened.

VEER

I was…

VEER fans himself and begins to wheeze.

KUMAR

Focus Veer, focus! Where did it happen?

VEER

Baghbazar! That’s right – Baghbazar!

KUMAR springs up and begins to run.

EXT. A ROAD – CONTINUOUS

KUMAR rushes along the street, followed by VEER. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

INT. BAGHBAZAR – SHORTLY AFTER

SUMAN TANDON an arrogant thug terrorises two women.

KUMAR, closely followed by VEER, rushes towards SUMAN, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

VEER

What is is? What’s the matter?

KUMAR

That’s not just any old thug, that’s Suman Tandon!

VEER

Who’s Suman Tandon?

KUMAR

Who’s Suman Tandon? Who’s Suman Tandon? Only the most arrogant thug in the universe!

VEER

Blinkin’ knickers, Kumar! We’re going to need some help if we’re going to stop the most arrogant thug in the universe!

KUMAR

You can say that again.

VEER

Blinkin’ knickers, Kumar! We’re going to need some help if we’re going to stop the most arrogant thug in the universe!

KUMAR

I’m going to need knives, lots of knives.

Suman turns and sees Kumar and Veer. He grins an evil grin.

SUMAN

Kumar Ghosh, we meet again.

VEER

You’ve met?

KUMAR

Yes. It was a long, long time ago…

EXT. A PARK – BACK IN TIME

A young KUMAR is sitting in a park listening to some R & B music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

He looks up and sees SUMAN. He takes off his headphones.

SUMAN

Would you like some RASOGOLLA?

KUMAR’s eyes light up, but then he studies SUMAN more closely, and looks uneasy.

KUMAR

I don’t know, you look kind of arrogant.

SUMAN

Me? No. I’m not arrogant. I’m the least arrogant thug in the world.

KUMAR

Wait, you’re a thug?

KUMAR runs away, screaming.

INT. BAGHBAZAR – PRESENT DAY

SUMAN

You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.

VEER

(To KUMAR) You ran away?

KUMAR

(To VEER) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?

KUMAR turns to SUMAN.

KUMAR

I may have run away from you then, but I won’t run away this time!

KUMAR runs away.

He turns back and shouts.

KUMAR

I mean, I am running away, but I’ll be back – with knives.

SUMAN

I’m not scared of you.

KUMAR

You should be.

INT. SHYAMBAZAR – LATER THAT DAY

KUMAR and VEER walk around searching for something.

KUMAR

I feel sure I left my knives somewhere around here.

VEER

Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly knives.

KUMAR

You know nothing Veer Saxena.

VEER

We’ve been searching for ages. I really don’t think they’re here.

Suddenly, SUMAN appears, holding a pair of knives.

SUMAN

Looking for something?

VEER

Crikey, Kumar, he’s got your knives.

KUMAR

Tell me something I don’t already know!

VEER

The earth’s circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.

KUMAR

I know that already!

VEER

I pickle my earwax and keep it in a jar under my bed.

SUMAN

(appalled) Dude!

While SUMAN is looking at VEER with disgust, KUMAR lunges forward and grabs his deadly knives. He wields them, triumphantly.

KUMAR

Prepare to die, you arrogant bastard!

SUMAN

No please! All I did was evetease a bunch of women!

PARI enters, unseen by any of the others.

KUMAR

I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those women were defenceless! Well now they have a defender – and that’s me! Kumar Ghosh defender of innocent women.

SUMAN

Don’t hurt me! Please!

KUMAR

Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t use these knives on you right away!

SUMAN

Because Kumar, I am your brother.

KUMAR looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

KUMAR

No you’re not!

SUMAN

Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

SUMAN tries to grab the knives but KUMAR dodges out of the way.

KUMAR

Who’s the daddy now? Huh? Huh?

Unexpectedly, SUMAN slumps to the ground.

VEER

Did he just faint?

KUMAR

I think so. Well that’s disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly knives.

KUMAR crouches over SUMAN’s body.

VEER

Be careful, Kumar. It could be a trick.

KUMAR

No, it’s not a trick. It appears that… It would seem… Suman Tandon is dead!

VEER

What?

KUMAR

Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.

VEER claps his hands.

VEER

So your knives did save the day, after all.

PARI steps forward.

PARI

Is it true? Did you kill the arrogant thug?

KUMAR

Pari how long have you been…?

PARI puts her arm around KUMAR.

PARI

Long enough.

KUMAR

Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Suman Tandon.

PARI

Then the women are safe?

KUMAR

It does seem that way!

A crowd of vulnerable women enter, looking relived.

PARI

You are their hero.

The women bow to KUMAR.

KUMAR

There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Suman Tandon will never evetease women ever again, is enough for me.

PARI

You are humble as well as brave!

One of the women passes KUMAR a gold ring

PARI

I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.

KUMAR

I couldn’t possibly.

Pause.

KUMAR

Well, if you insist.

KUMAR takes the ring.

KUMAR

Thank you.

The women bow their heads once more, and leave.

KUMAR turns to PARI.

KUMAR

Does this mean you want me back?

PARI

Oh, Kumar, of course I want you back!

KUMAR smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

KUMAR

Well you can’t have me.

PARI

WHAT?

KUMAR

You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a thug to death before you would believe in me. I don’t want a lover like that.

PARI

But…

KUMAR

Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin – my best friend, Veer.

VEER grins.

PARI

But…

VEER

You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!

PARI

Kumar?

KUMAR

I’m sorry Pari, but I think you should skidaddle.

PARI leaves.

VEER turns to KUMAR.

VEER

Did you mean that? You know … that I’m your best friend?

KUMAR

Of course you are!

The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly VEER stops.

VEER

When I said I pickle my earwax and keep it in a jar under my bed, you know I was just trying to distract the thug don’t you?

THE END

Copyright 2019. All Rights Reserved.

Publisher Email: alexvegabooks@gmail.com

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